Our cruise ship karaoke was the magical concoction of an empty stage, a crazed Ukrainian announcer, and a thick book of songs ready for butchery. I say this because I know what damage I would do to both a song and the surrounding five square miles if I picked up a microphone and starting caterwauling, my banshee-like wails doubtlessly raising an army of pirate undead from the floor of the Caribbean.
The rest of the gang had no such apprehension and took to the stage with gusto. Joseph, my nephew who's seven, gave the audience a big treat with his passionate and enthusiastic rendition of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot."
The most compelling character during our karaoke evenings, though, had to be the Ukrainian DJ. During songs, during breaks, during whenever it tickled him, he'd shout out "Woo hoo!" and "Va-kay-shun!" It was as if he had karaoke tourettes.
He matched his enthusiastic shouting with whatever song was being sung. In one case, an husband and wife were celebrating their 40th anniversary, and so the husband was performing a very moving rendition of a slow, romantic song in which, at the instrumental break, our DJ whispered very a low and somewhat menacing "va-kay-shun" into his microphone.
Although he pronounced names bizarrely, a tribute to his Eastern European heritage, he annunciated quite clear when exhorting us to get some "woo hoo juice" from the bar. He usually followed this with a quick peppering of "VA-KAY-SHUN!" and a few "woo hoos" for good measure. Between songs he'd often command us to, "Sing along, dance along," (then here he'd lower his voice) "drink along."
He was the Boss of Karaoke, more than likely resenting us for being on va-ca-shun while he had to load song after song into his karaoke system and smile nicely at all the well-meaning but tin-eared and well lubricated singers who, just for two minutes and ten seconds, simply wanted their time in the spotlight.
Woo hoo!
Woo Hoo!
And what would this writeup be without a little shoult out to your wife's rendition of "It's the End of the world as we know it" where she spit out a bazillion words in her 4 minute turn in the spotlight?
VA KAY SHUN!!
Posted by: mark | August 03, 2009 at 12:36 PM