High Plains Panhandler

Destination Imagination 2009

Today we were in the Big City: Lubbock, Texas, home of the annual Destination Imagination regional tournament. As usual, the only puny representation from Amarillo were the three teams Suzanne and I help coach (the seventh graders, the fifth graders, and the second graders). I with the school district would support this program, like all the other districts in the state, but they won't, no matter how much we plead, beg, and cajole. 

The day started early enough at 7:00, and once we were in Lubbock two hours later things went quite quickly. Suzanne had made a life-saving schedule just for our family so we could all know where we were supposed to be, which is a great fear of mine, since I know I'll decide to watch some school's performance and realize a little too late that my own team had been waiting for me in the hallway for the past seven hours.

Things went exceeding well for the two older teams (they were in actual competition - the second graders performed as part of the non-competitive Rising Stars group, but they'll be in the real competition next year). The seventh graders came in third place, and the fifth graders came in second. I use the words 'exceeding well' because both teams worked very hard and had very clever performances (they were both in the improvisation category), but now we don't have to continue practicing for the next five weeks for the state competition. This is glorious, and I think the team managers should get a medal that says, "You got pretty far, now take a break!" I would wear that medal every day.

So raise a pint o' ale and give a hearty cheer for our Destination Imagination teams! And now that I've reclaimed Monday nights after work from DI, I give a hearty cheer as well. 

Sock Hop

Tonight was the elementary school sock hop, which was also a fundraiser for a school project called Outdoor Ed. Suzanne's the chair of the Outdoor Ed. Committee so she had plenty to do for the sock hop including helping cook the 10,000 pound batch of pasta and meat sauce, which was dinner for all the kids.

I was still at work when Suzanne called to remind me of my sock hop duties when she ended the call this way: "Oh, it's 5:30. I need to get back to the sauce!" 

Indeed!

The Wrestling Tournament

Today we're at Colleen's wrestling tournament (she joined the team last month). 

I didn't know we had to buy tickets to the tournament, so we lined up at the ticket booth while a woman ahead of us paid for her three dollar ticket with a fifty dollar bill. The grouchy ticket lady was not amused by this.

Grouchy: "What is it with you people and your big bills?"

$50 Woman: "That's all I have."

Me: "I guess you'll have to wrestle for some change."

Grouchy: "Whuuuut?

Me: "You'll have to wrestle for . . . oh, nevermind."

She gave me the royal stink eye, and then took a suspicious look at my "When you're pirating mp3s, you're downloading communism" sweatshirt.

Grouchy: "Whuuut's zat supposed to mean?"

Me: (looking down at my sweatshirt): "Oh, it's a little satire for a Saturday morning.

Grouchy: "We already have enough communism in this country."

Then she threw my change on the counter as if it were infested with the Ebola virus.

And now a few observations about this particular wrestling tournament.

• The referees glide around the mats on their stomachs, like contra rebels lubricated with butter.
• The guy a few rows in front of me has a camera in a little case attached to the back of his baseball cap. This looks like the small bun on the back of a Samurai's head.  
• There's a loud guy jumping up and down next to the mat. His shirt says "Christ." He's yelling, "Break his #@$%@ neck! Break his @#$% legs!" He is quite liberal in his use of expletive sentiment. 
• The mother directly in front has now stood and yanked up her jeans several times. The jeans keep falling halfway down her bottom, revealing a distressing lack of underwear. Apparently she believes this is cool. This is not cool. Her husband is currently cutting an apple with a gigantic Crocodile Dundee knife. He just stood up to wipe his knife off on his loose jeans, which his wife just helped yank back up. It's obvious to everyone in the stands that he shares his wife's allergy to undergarments.