High Plains Panhandler

Christmas, 2006

It started early and ended with papers, boxes, and instructions stew around the house. Now that's a Merry Christmas!

Alex's Sixth Birthday

This past weekend we celebrated Alex's sixth spin around the sun. We had a low-key affair on this actual birthday, saving all our energy for the Big Party on Saturday.

This year we invited all sorts of hyper-energetic kids to the party center at a church downtown (believe it or not, this church has a bigger indoor play center than any other place in town, including the standard fare of Chick-Fil-A, Chuck-E-Cheese, and the scary random chicken-slash-gas station off the freeway). I, of course, played the scary monster who would chase the kids through all the tubes in the play area. These colorful tubes are made of a space age polymer that magnifies the strange and overwhelming smells of kindergarten boys as they crawl through them, shoeless and tooting merely along. It is enough to almost ruin one's appetite for birthday cake. Almost.

My goal as tube monster was to kidnap Alex and take him . . . well, somewhere around the play area (monsters never think strategically). My favorite part was when I captured Alex, carried him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and then was mercilessly attacked by all the other little boys. They swarmed over me until I was forced to my knees. Then I was able to leap back up with my arms in the air and yell threateningly as I tossed all the boys off me like a dog shaking off water. Lou Ferrigno would be green with jealously.

Unfortunately, the cake (made by a place called Miss Piggy's) was devoured by the kids almost immediately after we served it, forcing me and Suzanne to scrounge for the last few crumbs and overlooked icing that still remained in the cake box. As parents who fight for the right to party nutritionally, we also provided sliced apples as party food, but these were a flop. One helpful parent wrapped up all the leftover apple slices in a big piece of aluminum foil. When we got home after the party I thought this heavy, lumpy package was a secret part of the cake that someone had clandestinely squirreled away. But it was just a load of brown apples. Unwrapping a present of sliced apples that have become brown is never a welcome surprise.

An hour after his party ended, Alex had someone else's birthday party to attend. This made for a very long day, and in the end, he collapsed in his bed, happy for his day in the spotlight and, maybe, hoping he wouldn't get ripped off in ten more days on Christmas morning.

Obey Superheros

Alex just asked me to tie a long, fringe-edged Afghan around his shoulders so he could wear it as a cape. I tied it a big knot around his neck, and smiled, thinking of all the times I had done the same when I was a little boy. I had quite the surplus of super powers back then, including a strange hybrid of Spider-Man sticky fingers, Green Lantern magic ring, and Superman X-ray vision.

Alex ran off to the family room to confront the girls, and I wondered what kind of powers his new cape had just bestowed on him. Then I heard him across the house shout this command to his older sisters:

"OBEY ME!"

I laughed, and Suzanne, ever insightful, explained to me that was the perfect super power for the youngest kid who was always getting pushed around by his older sisters.

I really need so show Alex how to use ComicLife, so he can make a comic about his powers of obedience. Then we'll all have no choice but to obey him completely. He wouldn't even have to worry about a long blanket trailing behind to to ensure our compliance.

First Snow of the Year

The squirrels are back out, the sky is back to a brilliant blue, and remnants of the first snow of the season and melting quickly. So I guess now is the perfect time to pull the pictures off the camera and post a photo of snow fun. (Snow fun consists of 15 minutes getting bundled up, 10 minutes playing in the snow, and 30 minutes thawing out with hot chocolate.)