Today I was summoned for another trip to the jury duty room. We live in Potter county, and the country courthouse summons me to jury duty approximately 873 times a year. This is mainly because I meet an important qualification: I am alive.
Eventually I was dismissed because the defendant made a plea bargain, but hours before that happened I was stuck in a large jury room (with vending machines for my comfort and convenience!), surrounded by all sorts of strange and bizarre people. Behind me sat a man who, I'm not kidding, sounded like a coffee maker out of water. I actually thought one of the comfort-inducing vending machines in the back of the room was broken and wheezing, but when I turned around I saw it was this guy who was simply sitting there, arms crossed across this chest and breathing like this: Kagraagkaaggg kagraagkagaaa.
And then, to my left, a woman sat down and lodged her oxygen tank into the seat in front of her. Every few seconds the tank would make an odd hydraulic hissing noise, like it was releasing gas: pshsssss pshsssss pshsssss.
So I started tapping my pencil on my desk to make time with gurgle man and gas lady: kagraagaa gaa, taptaptap, pshsssss, taptaptap, kagraagaa gaa, taptaptap. I finally had to stop when I got the skunk eye from the jury duty administration woman at the front of the room.
Still, now that I think about it, I might have stumbled across an entirely new form of music: the jury room shuffle. I'll have to bring a microphone the next time I'm summoned. I'll be a mogul yet. An impaneled mogul!
I thought your day of jury duty was FUNNY!
Posted by: Andrew - nephew | November 02, 2006 at 08:48 PM